


Light My Fire

by klittycat



Category: Beavis and Butt-head
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fire, Male Solo, Other, Wax Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:44:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8522653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klittycat/pseuds/klittycat
Summary: Beavis scores





	

**Author's Note:**

> i found a beavis and butt-head fic i wrote as a joke for a friend 5, nearly 6 years ago. had a good laugh and wanted to share it

Butt-Head walked into the bathroom to take a leak. The putrid smell emitting from the commode filled his nostrils and he started coughing. “Dammit Beavis!” he exclaimed. “It’s, like, disgusting in here!” His friend just laughed in the next room. The smell was worse that usual. “Uh, desperate times call for uh… desperate measurements or something,” the boy stated and started searching under the sink. He found an old candle and some matches. “Uh, this should like, do it… Uhuhuh, ‘do it’,” Butt-Head said, lighting the candle and placing it on the back of the toilet. He 'drained his lizard’ and returned to the couch to watch music videos.  
A little later, the boys were watching a infomercial for the latest exercise equipment, complete with scantily clad females. They laughed immaturely through the whole thing. “Heheh, hey Butt-Head, meheheh, I’m like, getting a stiffy,” Beavis stated. “Uh, okay, uhuhuh,” Butt-Head replied. “Heheh, okay, heheh, cool!” the first boy laughed and stuck his hand down his shorts. Butt-Head glanced over and noticed what his friend was doing. “Dammit Beavis! Don’t like, spank your monkey beside me. Uhuh, I don’t wanna see your wiener,” Butt-Head scolded. “Erm, heh, okay Butt-Head. Heheh, I’m like, going to be in the bathroom, hehehehmeheh, yeah, heh,” Beavis said and left the room. “Dumbass,” Butt-Head sighed and changed the channel.  
Beavis entered the bathroom and started jacking off. In his peripheral vision, he noticed a glowing light. He paused for a second and looked over. There, on the toilet, was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life- a dainty, flickering flame. “Ohhh no…” Beavis said as his eyes got wide. The spark danced and moved so gracefully. “Ohhhhhaahoohaahhh…” Beavis moaned. He had to get closer to it. He had to touch it. Pretty soon, he was right next to it. “Oohhhh baby,” he whispered and picked the candle up. He carefully lowered the candle. “I’m going to score, heheh,” he said and thrust into the candle. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” he screamed, still holding the candle against him despite the pain. He always heard that it always hurt the first time you score.  
“Uh, what is that buttmunch doing?” Butt-Head asked as he heard Beavis’s screams in the next room. He shrugged and kept watching TV, but the screaming persisted. “DAMMIT BEAVIS. SHUT UP OR I’M GOING IN THERE TO KICK YOUR ASS!” Butt-Head yelled. Beavis kept on screaming. Butt-Head cut up the volume on the TV hoping that it would drown out the screaming, but it didn’t. 'DAMMIT BEAVIS. I WARNED YOU. NOW SHUT UP!“ the brunette shouted again. It didn’t work, again. Butt-Head decided he was going to have to kick Beavis’s ass. He got off the couch and headed towards the bathroom.  
"Uh, I’m like going to kick your ass no- Uhhh! What the hell are you doing?!” Butt-Head asked, horrified at the image of Beavis’s junk stuck in the candle. “Dammit fartknocker, go away! I’m scoring,” Beavis cried. “Beavis! You dumbass! You can’t score with a candle, uhuhuh. Candle’s don’t have, uhuh, ya know… uhuh…” Butt-Head explained to the blonde. “Oh yeah, heheh, that sucks,” Beavis stated. “Uhuh, yeah,” Butt-Head laughed. Since he realized he wasn’t really scoring, Beavis tried to pull the candle off of his junk… but the wax had cooled and was stuck on him! “Hmm… Erm, heh, hey Butt-Head, ummm… I think I’m stuck,” Beavis said, pulling the candle again. “Uhuh, dumbass,” Butt-Head said and walked away.


End file.
